Dharmawheels - Buddhist Bicycle Pilgrimage

Hi there. I'm Todd. I met some of you on the 2008 BBP. Eileen asked me to write a little something, and I'm glad she did. The 2008 BBP was a potent experience for me, and has provided fertile ground for exploration.

A little introduction may be in order: I've spent a lot of my spare time in the last few years training for long-distance endurance events. I'm not a bicycle racer per-se, but I can reasonably expect to turn in a 90-miler in less than 6 hours. That pace, without stopping, would have put me in the KOA campground shortly after lunch. I mention this because it turns out that I identify very strongly with this kind of thing. More on that later.

 I had originally planned to participate in the pilgrimage as a cyclist, but the ride filled before I registered. To condense a bit, I volunteered to help with the ride, and was placed in the role of sweep car driver. My job was to make sure that nobody got left behind. It was a most educational experience.

Left photo - View from SAG vehicle.
Middle photo - Todd relieved at the Rockshop.
Right photo - Jenna happy after broken spokes were repaired! photos by Dave Adair.

As the first morning of the pilgrimage progressed and I got to know the folks who got to know the sweep car driver, I observed some interesting internal reactions. The first of these was a kind of culture shock: In the groups with whom I usually ride, I am a middle-to-front sort of rider and have never really put in road time with the folks in back. This isn't just a comment on physical ability. It refers to a whole suite of behaviors and expectations. The groups are pretty different, and as it turns out I have some strong attachments to the identity that is aggregated from my own tendencies in this area.

I spent the first several hours of the pilgrimage enjoying the glorious morning. I also became aware that I was quietly congratulating myself for all sorts of things I had previously come to take for granted: I carry the right tools; I manage my fuel and hydration needs pretty well; I know how to pace for a long ride; I am intimately acquainted with the mechanical aspects of my own bicycle; I climb my own hills; I ride with the right group of people for me; I was helping my sisters and brothers along the way, and all was good.

By mid-afternoon, the tone of my observations had turned a bit: Some folks really hadn't trained adequately for the rigors of this ride; I would be done by now; If so-and-so doesn't put their head down and pedal, I'm going to putter around in this truck f o r e v e r ! That sort of thing. These were uncomfortable thoughts.

By the end of the day I was exhausted. Driving and stopping and fixing flats all day was surprisingly tiring. I also had an odd sense of guilt –sort of an emotional hangover. I don't think I was actually unpleasant towards anybody, but I definitely had a few little bitchy-on-the-inside moments. Dinner did wonders for me, as it usually does. Then came the evening sit. That was painful. Oh how I wished I'd parked my butt on a zafu in the back row so I could escape!

In other words, I was on a pilgrimage. I brought my tent and my tools, my smile and my sunscreen, my best intentions… and the dividing mind came along too. I worked all day, and I got tired. I tried to be mindful but I forgot. The pilgrimage was, in every way, about trying to practice the dharma where the rubber meets the road.

It took a few days for some of the lessons to sink in. The self-satisfaction I felt in the morning and the irritability I felt in the afternoon were really just the same judgment casting a different kind of shadow as the day wore on. Finding some equanimity seems relatively easy when I'm on my home pillow and there isn't much to rock the boat. Developing the same kind of skill in the broad world presents a more fluid sort of challenge, and one I'm glad to work with. Overall, I felt the pilgrimage was a great success, and I hope to participate again next year. I'd like to say thank you again to everybody who worked hard to make the pilgrimage possible, not least those folks for whom the ride was particularly difficult. I'd also like to extend special thanks to both the cooks and everybody who ran over something sharp. Your experiences and contributions were equally valuable.

Todd